“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.” –Aristotle
Shepherding our children’s hearts can feel like a monumental task in today’s fast-paced world filled with distractions. However, we possess a powerful tool to guide this journey: habit training. While the term “habit training” might be met with resistance in our modern society, particularly regarding children, it’s important to recognize that habit formation is inevitable, regardless of whether the habits are life-giving or destructive. Charlotte Mason, a pioneer in educational philosophy, stated, “We begin with the awareness that any repeated action either becomes a good habit or a bad habit.” The desires, loves, and longings that define who we are don’t emerge by chance; they are cultivated through the habits we form. For the Christian, these biblically based habits are deeply intertwined with the condition of the heart and train children to embrace what is good, right, and honorable.
The Essence of Habit Training in Education
Essential Habits
1. Obedience* — the foundational habit
Definition: The student responds immediately and completely to authority and willingly accepts consequences.
2. Attention
Definition: The student fixes their mind and body steadily on the task at hand and follows instructions, both written and oral.
3. Truthfulness
Definition: The student is honest, trustworthy, and without duplicity both in words and actions.
4. Respect
Definition: The student is kind, uses good manners, and demonstrates self-control both with words and actions.
5. Responsibility
Definition: The student is a good steward of personal belongings and school property, completes all tasks on time, and is consistently prepared for class.
6. Self-Control
Definition: The student demonstrates mastery over their own actions and practices delayed gratification.
7. Servanthood
Definition: The student consistently and willingly yields their own needs to the needs of others and serves others with a compassionate and cheerful heart.
8. Thoroughness
Definition: The student completes all tasks neatly and to the very best of their ability, leaving nothing undone.
Tips for Habit Training
– When turning a bad habit into a good habit, be sure to focus on the new habit rather than correcting the bad habit. (Otherwise, you will become exhausted!) Offer opportunities to practice the new habit as often as you can.
– Have faithful, consistent expectations and establish repeated and expected routines.
– When learning a new habit, attempt to notice when your child is struggling. Say, “What should I remind you of?” (rather than stating the expectation yourself).
– Consider your expectations for your child—ensure they are appropriate and that you can consistently uphold them.
– Nothing is finished until it is done to the best of one’s ability.
– Teach children how to receive discipline graciously by modeling respectful responses. Encourage them to avoid blaming others.
– Personally model through real-life examples and engage in role-playing.
– Correct your child in a manner that encourages them to want to do better. Ex: “You are a good friend, and good friends do not push.” Make the direction or the redirection simple and to the point. Example: “We do not interrupt.” (As adults, we tend to overtalk, and children will tune us out.)
– Utilize storytelling or real-life experiences to help the child connect with a specific habit they are working on. For instance, when addressing the habit of tidiness, you might share the story of a chipmunk who keeps all his underground rooms organized and neat.
– Incorporate living books, fables, and Bible stories to instill good habits and encourage thoughtful choices.
– Encourage students to repeat your instructions by saying, “Please tell me what I just asked you to do.” You can also ask, “How many tasks did I ask you to complete? What are they?”
– Remember, like-minded families are your greatest resource.
– Teaching your child a new habit may take a long time – be prayerful that you will not grow weary.
– Pray with your children, inviting them to join you in lifting up a specific habit they are working to develop. Ask God to transform their weaknesses into strengths.
– Celebrate the happiness of a habit when a child says, “I did it!” Express genuine congratulations: “Let’s go for a walk—I’m so proud of your hard work!” A good habit has become a pleasure.
– Hold on to this thought — one habit overcomes another. Don’t get discouraged; continue the hard work, and the Holy Spirit will work through you. God helps us to do our best even when the tasks are difficult.
Habit Training at Heritage Preparatory School
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)
It takes great intentionality to learn for ourselves and to share the biblical wisdom of loving the Lord with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength, ultimately leading to our transformation into the image of Christ. Our deepest hope is to partner with parents in building a strong foundation for students, guiding them to embody all things good, excellent, and life-giving to a world that so desperately needs the love of Jesus. We believe habit training at an early age is key to forming a child’s character and building their confidence as children of God as they grow older. Below, you will find our time-tested tips, and we pray you will find delight in supporting your children in these early years of learning!
In Christ,
Mrs. Celia McCarthy and Mrs. LeAnn Martin
(Enrichment (PreK) Teachers at Heritage Preparatory School)
Heritage Preparatory School
If you’d like to see how habit training is thoughtfully woven into the educational experience at Heritage Preparatory School, we invite you to come for a tour. Witness how our classrooms are designed to nurture character and instill lasting virtues in a Christ-centered environment. Together, let’s shape a foundation that inspires your child to live with purpose, joy, and integrity.